


Unwanted Advice

by Tangerine



Category: X-Force (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Gen, POV First Person, Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-01-15
Updated: 2001-01-15
Packaged: 2019-05-28 02:47:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15038990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tangerine/pseuds/Tangerine
Summary: X-Treme gives Shatterstar some sage advice.





	Unwanted Advice

**Author's Note:**

> (Author's note 2018): I have no idea why this exists, except I love X-Treme. Written in 2001, posted in 2018. Completely ignores canon, because sometimes that's just how things go.

"Thank you for not killing me. I appreciate it."

Shatterstar looked up from his coffee, one hand resting on his shoulder, the flesh slightly sore beneath his fingers. "Contrary to what some might believe, I am no murderer."

"You're a survivalist. It's all the same," I replied calmly, elbow resting on the table and one finger pointing in the Mojoworlder's direction. "And I'm just a jerk who annoys you. You wouldn't have shed any tears."

Shatterstar frowned. "You do not annoy me."

"You're jealous of me. That annoys you, that you think I might possibly beat you in battle. It pisses you off that you think you have to worry about me," I said smugly, leaning back in my chair and tipping back my head, my long hair nearly brushing the ground. "And you want to sleep with me."

"Hardly," Shatterstar replied, sipping his coffee. "You are wrong on all accounts."

I laughed and sat up, pulling my mug to my chest. "Bullshit, man."

Shatterstar rolled his eyes and checked the watch on his wrist, careful of the position of the hands. Rictor would not be back for another two hours, which meant I would not be leaving for two hours. "I believe I must amend my previous statement. You _are_ annoying."

I laughed again, taking a large mouthful of coffee with a gulp. "Still, I appreciate the fact you didn't slice me to ribbons. As highly as I think of myself, I don't doubt that in the end, I would have been the loser. I'm man enough to admit my failings."

Shatterstar nodded. "Arcade was wise to pick me as your opponent. No other would have stood a chance."

I grinned, my face assuming an almost fay appearance, my pointed ears hidden beneath blond hair, my blue eyes intense beneath black-lined eyelids. Long fingers tapped elegantly on the table, and my body shifted like liquid, in complete control of its musculature. "You're checking me out, aren't you?"

"I am assessing you," Shatterstar replied through gritted teeth, adding as an afterthought, "shut up."

"Right." I looked around the coffee shop, fingers drumming on my mug. "Has anyone ever told you that you are a lousy conversationalist?"

"Julio tells me all the time," Shatterstar said, visibly wincing.

"Julio. Right." I smiled to himself. "Let's talk about Julio."

Shatterstar glared at me, his eyes in two tiny slits as he fought the urge to hit me as I was obviously irritating him. As it was, Shatterstar adverted his glance and stared at the ground, managing to whisper an unconvincing, "no."

I raised an eyebrow. "You hardly know me. It wouldn't hurt."

Shatterstar lifted his head, eyes rolling in his head, exasperated. "Why would I care to speak about him? Go back to annoying me. I prefer it." Shatterstar narrowed his eyes once more. "And I do not need a friend. You are merely a man I chose not to kill."

"Yet here we are, drinking coffee. Imagine." I sipped a mouthful of scalding liquid into my throat, swallowing loudly as I regarded the aloof man. To be frank, he was hot. I knew it, he knew it, and I didn't care what he said, he was checking me out. "Are you sleeping with him?"

"Shut up," Shatterstar gritted through clenched teeth.

"Ah. You want to sleep with him."

"I do not even," Shatterstar started angrily before stopping to rethink his words, and I waited patiently. It was amazing how a battle, especially a fight won together, could bring people closer. "I would not know what to do even if I desired it. And I do not. Warriors do not need sex. You do not know what you are talking about."

"You act like you're sleeping together."

Shatterstar looked up. "We do not."

"Right. Which is why that first time we met, you know, where we were two steps from ripping off each other's clothing, he was about ready to kick me in the head. Repeatedly. If you have stopped obsessing over me, you might have noticed how much he wanted me to leave you alone."

Shatterstar turned red, a mean blush hitting his skin. "I did not ... you ... I ... it was not like that. It is not often I find a true warrior. I admired you ..."

"I'm just as attracted to you, which doesn't mean a thing." Evidently, this man had been on earth too long. I knew about Mojoworld. Heterosexuality was considered abnormal and odd. "You want Rictor; Rictor wants you. What's the problem?"

"Julio does not ... why am I telling you this?" Shatterstar pulled at his ponytail, his shoulders hunched forward, somehow looking small as he sat at the table. "Julio does not want me. I have accepted it. These earth customs ..."

"Does not change the fact that he wants to fuck you," I said, matter-of-fact.

"You are," Shatterstar started then stopped. "You are a nuisance."

I smirked. "I'm right. So I ask you again, what's the problem?"

"He is straight –"

"Bullshit. Try again."

"He is. He says he is. Once, when we were out, this man asked us how long we had been together, and Julio called him a 'motherfucker' and proceeded to tell me at least five times that he was straight. Julio would not lie to me," Shatterstar said, frowning. "Would he?"

"Evidently, yes." 

"Fekt," Shatterstar said, scowling at his coffee, as I tried not to gloat.

It never got old, being right all the time. Adam X, Giver of Unwanted (But Totally Necessary) Advice, at your service. 


End file.
